Thursday, January 8, 2009

Pennystyes - Straight A-ham

Day Three: No Sighting, but there’s a lot more white shit coming out!

No Q1 emergencies today, just introspective drama…let me give you

a metaphor to illuminate the situation with Hamsen:

Over the past three days, I’ve felt like the dad grooming his son to be

QB for the Dallas Cowboys, making him practice 11 hours a day instead

of “making friends” (chickenfuckers) or going to a “school” (loser-factory).

And after working a double at the old rock quarry just to make ends meet,

what does he do when I get home?!?!?! Tells me he wants to be a ballerina!!!!!


That was at least my initial reaction, but after a quart of Tylenol Cough, a

green chili burrito and a hearty talk with my roommate, I’ve gained some

much needed perspective.

I can either approve and support his lifestyle of not sprouting a god damn thing

or continue being an angry bastard who inevitably drives his Chia to (metaphorical)

gay porn, giving Chia-jobs in a men’s room for smack.

I chose the former option, and now I am prepping Hammy to try out for lead in

Jesus Christ Superstar!

Now that I’ve stopped pressuring him to be something he’s not we’ve enjoyed

a richer, closer relationship…I mean…everyone else’s Chia Pet sprouts and grows,

but what’s so special about that???

What we’ve got is much better, and somehow I’ve learned a bit about myself

(mainly that I’m less nurturing than the 3rd graders in those tv commercials)…meow.

-john b.

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