Day Three: No Sighting, but there’s a lot more white shit coming out!
No Q1 emergencies today, just introspective drama…let me give you
a metaphor to illuminate the situation with Hamsen:
Over the past three days, I’ve felt like the dad grooming his son to be
QB for the Dallas Cowboys, making him practice 11 hours a day instead
of “making friends” (chickenfuckers) or going to a “school” (loser-factory).
And after working a double at the old rock quarry just to make ends meet,
what does he do when I get home?!?!?! Tells me he wants to be a ballerina!!!!!
I HAVE NO SON!!!!
That was at least my initial reaction, but after a quart of Tylenol Cough, a
green chili burrito and a hearty talk with my roommate, I’ve gained some
much needed perspective.
I can either approve and support his lifestyle of not sprouting a god damn thing
or continue being an angry bastard who inevitably drives his Chia to (metaphorical)
gay porn, giving Chia-jobs in a men’s room for smack.
I chose the former option, and now I am prepping Hammy to try out for lead in
Jesus Christ Superstar!
Now that I’ve stopped pressuring him to be something he’s not we’ve enjoyed
a richer, closer relationship…I mean…everyone else’s Chia Pet sprouts and grows,
but what’s so special about that???
What we’ve got is much better, and somehow I’ve learned a bit about myself
(mainly that I’m less nurturing than the 3rd graders in those tv commercials)…meow.